Comments on: 5 minutes http://theshyam.com Ramblings from the Real Shyam; You know, unlike those other fake Shyams! Sat, 28 Jan 2012 06:10:32 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: John Lindal http://theshyam.com/fiction/5-minutes/#comment-19 John Lindal Wed, 23 Sep 2009 17:39:47 +0000 http://theshyam.com/?page_id=180#comment-19 Very nice story! I didn't experience the issue Mike discussed because I automatically translated into 3rd person. I liked the fast pace and the surprising twists. Very nice story! I didn’t experience the issue Mike discussed because I automatically translated into 3rd person. I liked the fast pace and the surprising twists.

]]> By: Shyam http://theshyam.com/fiction/5-minutes/#comment-18 Shyam Wed, 16 Sep 2009 17:36:26 +0000 http://theshyam.com/?page_id=180#comment-18 Hrm, thanks for that feedback. Well, part of the inspiration was a great Harry Potter fanfiction that I read somewhere. Thanks for that link though, I had read it when I had wandered on there. Good point on the drastic decisions, but I guess I wanted to keep it short and not elaborate too much on the settings and stuff. Hrm, thanks for that feedback. Well, part of the inspiration was a great Harry Potter fanfiction that I read somewhere. Thanks for that link though, I had read it when I had wandered on there. Good point on the drastic decisions, but I guess I wanted to keep it short and not elaborate too much on the settings and stuff.

]]> By: Mike http://theshyam.com/fiction/5-minutes/#comment-17 Mike Wed, 02 Sep 2009 03:28:58 +0000 http://theshyam.com/?page_id=180#comment-17 I really liked the story, but, to be honest, I think this would have worked better as a first person perspective. The problem with second person stories is that you have to make the reader believe that your character is making the same choices the reader would. Second person stories also work best if you never reveal the gender of "you." As soon as you reveal the gender, you've created a rift between half of your potential readers and your character. You also want to avoid too drastic of decisions in a second person story--for example, I wasn't even aware that "I" could bring down the ceiling of the escape route. Even if I were aware of this skill, I might have looked for a different option. I hope this helps. I did enjoy the concept of the story, just wasn't convinced that the second person perspective was the best choice for this story. One example of writing in the second person you might enjoy is located at http://www.writanon.com/stories/the_bartender . This story assumes very little about the reader, except that they are a member of a society where jeans are common attire. You'll notice a few strange references, but the story was written as an introduction to a different writing community. I really liked the story, but, to be honest, I think this would have worked better as a first person perspective.

The problem with second person stories is that you have to make the reader believe that your character is making the same choices the reader would. Second person stories also work best if you never reveal the gender of “you.” As soon as you reveal the gender, you’ve created a rift between half of your potential readers and your character.

You also want to avoid too drastic of decisions in a second person story–for example, I wasn’t even aware that “I” could bring down the ceiling of the escape route. Even if I were aware of this skill, I might have looked for a different option.

I hope this helps. I did enjoy the concept of the story, just wasn’t convinced that the second person perspective was the best choice for this story.

One example of writing in the second person you might enjoy is located at http://www.writanon.com/stories/the_bartender . This story assumes very little about the reader, except that they are a member of a society where jeans are common attire. You’ll notice a few strange references, but the story was written as an introduction to a different writing community.

]]> By: Micro update « The Shyam! http://theshyam.com/fiction/5-minutes/#comment-16 Micro update « The Shyam! Wed, 26 Aug 2009 09:47:29 +0000 http://theshyam.com/?page_id=180#comment-16 [...] 5 minutes [...] [...] 5 minutes [...]

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